Being married is not only about uniting the loving couple at the altar but also two different families and friends from each side. The uniting process is not started when the couple says “I do” but even further than that; since they started dating. Friends and families play a big role in wedding planning; they are a group of buttresses and a comfort zone for each couple. In an ideal world, families and friends are supportive of the wedding planning, but this isn’t it; the couple needs to know how to deal with unsupportive families or friends during wedding planning.
The idea of getting married is a life decision and should be a wedding that you dream of where friends and family could gather, watching the bride and the groom walking down the aisle, tying the knot, and happily ever after. Not all friends and families are supportive, some couple go through unsupportive friend issue, others having unsupportive families and friends at the same time during wedding planning; a hard task to carry.
However, there are lessons that might help you all in a similar plight to feel better…
You have a right to be happy!
It is not your fault that they don’t like your decision, people have their own opinion and it is their problem when they can`t get over it. We wouldn’t know what really make them act unsupportive towards the wedding planning, but it is your time and like it or not they have to respect your decision; don`t let them rain on your parade.
Get a grip and say “NO”
We have always pictured ourselves as the strong, independent person in every situation, but agreeing with others, even if it’s against your heart doesn’t seem like showing that value. There are moments in your life that you have to make a big decision for yourself and this is one of them even though you have unsupportive families or friends. Saying “No” to others might trigger distress for some people, but too much conformity can be dangerous. A study says that too much conformity can potentially lead to poor decision-making, anxiety, or difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
Cry it out then take the a step forward
Crying is good for you because feel-good chemicals are released in the body. Don’t let it takes away the better of you and ruin your wedding plan. Remove all the negative thoughts and cry it out, things only get worse when you gave up; spend more time with your partner to ease the pressure. Learn to let it go as you move forward; the marriage is for you and your partner is going to be the only support you need in this world and that is enough to move a mountain.
Forgive them for being unable to understand the situation
We know everybody have secrets and so do you; sometimes it’s the answer why would your friends or families disagree with your choices. Let them explain their opinions and respond with calm and assertive tone. Aside from that, forgive them for being unable to understand the situation you are dealing right now.
Wedding of your dream not theirs
Everyone has different ideas of how a wedding should be, let say, her family encourages the idea of small, intimate and private wedding while his family wants a majestic over the top wedding. It would take a lot of time to decide whose idea is better, should you consider applying their ideas and how not to offend their opinions when you don’t like their ideas.
Take a deep breath and say “This is my wedding and everything is going to get better”.
Your wedding will not be the only thing going on in the lives of your friends and families but this is the momentous time for you and your partner. Take all the suggestions and ideas from those around you, but do it on your way; their suggestions and ideas might come in handy in wedding planning. In addition, it is better to ask professional assistance from your wedding planner to make sure your dream wedding come true.
Get your privileges back
Regardless of your religions or your position in your family, one should not restrict any actions related to personal choice. Friends and families can give advice, warning, or suggestion, but controlling over personal choice is as bad as taking someone else privileges. The study says that people with insecurities usually like to control others; they cut you down to their size so they will be able to feel comfortable around you. Standing up for yourself is about preserving and have a respect for yourself; you have the right to make decisions that you believe is best.
There will be a lot of obstacles in front of you, put them in the center and face it with self-respect and the love you create with your partner.
I hope this article can help others how to deal with unsupportive families or friends during wedding planning, but really, love does work like magic and sometimes it thrives against all odds.
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